Canadian Contingent by Garfer

Before we continue with our enthralling account of this expedition, Garfer, leader of the Canadian contingent, has kindly provided us with some further information on his force. Enjoy.

An update on the Canadian supplies

After having given it up as a loss the Canadian contingent found one of their pack mules bogged down in the river. They wer able to retrieve some of their supplies and weapons. Since these supplies and weapons do differ from the American counter parts, we should explain their usage. Unlike tents that are standard in the USA and CSA armies the Canadians use portible igloos. Bright white in colour they are easy to find in the dark. They are also quite comfortable keeping a low temperature, however they do seem to fade away in hot climates.

Our primary weapon is not the sabre as carried by the American armies, but the hockey stick. It is a devastating weapon any where from 56 to 74 inches in length. It is made of solid wood and the stick is square in shape, about one and a half inches in all directions. On one end is a curved blade about 10 inches long, also made of wood. It resembles a farmer's scythe. This weapon can be used trip, hook, and slash the enemy, forcing him to the ground where he can then be hacked by the blade or pummeled by the stick itself. It can also be used as a spear, running the blade into the enemys' mid-section or turn around and used to butt end an enemy in the head or groin. Shorter versions have turned up and are wielded like an hatchet, axe or tomahawk. It's poplarity has caused it to appears in several sporting events in Canada. Many of our Canadain have eqarned the title of "Hatchet Man" in reverence to their skill with the stick. As a back up weapon we have another stick. Smaller and made of hickory, It has a rawhide pouch at one end. The lacrosse racket, as it is called, is use to hurl paint balls at the enemy. Upon contact the paint balls explode into serveral coloues, making pretty pictures and scaring the hell out of the enemy.
We do not kow if the Major will let us use our weapons but we will serve until the Apache is taken or destroyed.

The Canadian Contingent - The members 7 + 1

garfer -

A befuddled man, whos children were stollen in infancy by pirates. He has joind the fight against the Apache after fearing reprisals for the citizens of his home town of York. garfer has been rooting for the champion hoser team from Mount Royal in the province of Quebec. This has infuriated the people of York who seem to think that a team dressed in blue fatgiues and wearing a white maple leaf on the front are superior hosers. garfer is going to prove that you can be a good hoser regardless of the team colours you wear.

Black Jacques Shellac -

Volunteering to fight the Apache was an excuse for Jacques to personally witness the clash below the border between the blue and the grey. An old trapper from the most northern part of Quebec Jacques is a fierce and nobel fighter. He hopes to learn enough to help him in his cause to separate his beloved Quebec from lower Canada. "Sacre Blue and to hell with you" is his motto for all English speaking Canadians.

Goofy Newfie -

Although not to bright Goofy, from a little fishing village on the island country of Newfoundland is eager to fight. Home sick and unable to figure out how to get back to his native island, the newfie has joined the expedition to prove his worth and learn enough about tracking in order to find his way home. He has gotten lost several times while seeking out his return home, only to find out that bread cumbs do not make a good map to find your way back. Goofy arrived in lower Canada a couple of years ago, when playing hockey on the frozen Saint Lawrence river he intercepted a pass, took control of the puck and found himself on a breakaway to the goal.

Wrong-way Preston -

The standards bearer for the Canadian contigent. At one time Preston was a sargent in the North West Mounted Police. Stationed in the Yukon Territory, Sgt. Preston performed his duties well in the Great White North. He was cashiered out of the regiment for the infamous "flag flap" that occurred recently. At a conference between the USA and the Dominion of Canada Sgt. Preston inadvertently place the Canadian flag upside down on the flag pole. While this wasn't serious enough to dismiss him. It was his insistence that a company of American Marines were the ones that hung the flag upside down that got hime cashiered. You will also note that for this expedition we have modified the flag that Sgt. Preston carries. There is an arrow pointing upward on top of the leaf and a new motto added. "This End Up.....Eh".

Dortmund Hoffenmuller -

Our interpreter. Dortmund hails from Prussia where he had a distinguishing carreer althroughEuorpe. He comes from a long line of Prussian calvary men who fought against Napoleon and some with Napoleon. His one wish was to cross the English channel with serverl of his fellow countrymen. Dortmund speaks, reads and writes several of the "Germanic" languages as well as Austrian, Norweigan, and Finnish. He also speaks several of native tongues such as Ojibway, Huron, Erie, Mohican, Wendat. It is our hope that on this tour he will learn English so that we can communicate with him.

I. P. Molson -

Once a memeber of the famous Molsons brewing family, I. P. joined the continget after falling out of favour with his family. Assigned as a master sampler of the ales and lager brewed by the Molsons, it was found out that I. P. was severly drinking away the company profits. In hopes of finding a good beer in the USA or Mexico I. P. was eager to sign up. We have given I. P. the job of being our company lookout and spy. He has spent a great part of his life standing behind trees, bushes, fence posts in near silence and has commented several times that he was greatly relieved while standing behind the trees, bushes and fence posts.

Old Sam -

Now Old Sam is an Indian. One of the last members of the He-Kaw-Wie tribe. It seems that the tribe had a booming souvenir business in the old west until the closure of Fort Courage caused the business to close down and the tribe to disperse. Old Sam made his way into Canada and wandered for several years. Now Sam is looking for a final resting place. He tried to get a room in the Boot Hill cemetary home, but was told he was not fit to be buried. Angered with the preduice shown to him he has come to fight and to go out in a blaze of glory.

Calvary Guy -

JC as we know him has adopted the title bestowed on him by Dundee. That of Calvary Guy. Maltese by birth and educated in England JC was assigned by her majesty, the Queen of England, to studied the tactics of the American calvary and to return to England with knowledge that will be used by the English in the battle with their Indians. The dreaded renegade MyHat MyCoat has started a war against the British in a bid for independence for his country. But secretly JC has let us know that he intends to use the knowledge he has gained against the British for his own purpose. He is always telling us that in 1241 or so his family was booted off the throne of Malta, and he intends to return to take his rightful place and restore the monarchy to Malta.

Now that we have given names and faces to the men in this command, we can perhaps move on to the next tumultuous episode of the expedition.