The Characters - The Internet People

Last but not least, we come to the Internet people, who have agreed to sign on only until the Apache is taken or destroyed.Some are more loyal than others.

The Internet People - Skilled Artisans In The Field Of Fighting, Psychopaths, Necessary Evils, Canadians, and Gunfighters

• Tim the Bugler - Dundee's second-in-command, he's been promoted to Dundee's immediate subordinate recently, and his cousin has replaced him. He is also a newspaper man who is planning to cover the expedition. - A
• Tim's cousin - The new bugler. - A
• Marco Leone - A British gunslinger and Spaghetti Western enthusiast who is at turns good, bad, and ugly. He's also one of my bestest Internet buddies. - B
• James Finnegan Stubb - A great cook and a rough-houser. Also goes by the name Chum - Grandpa Chum. - B
• Garfer - The leader of the Canadian contingent, seven Canadian soldiers who have been left behind because some feel they'll be too busy watching hockey and drinking Moosehead Beer to go and fight with the American hosers, eh? I'll trust them - for now. B
• Garfer's six Canadians - Ah, expendables - I mean, valued members of our fighting force! - D
• Cavalry Guy - Garfer's friend who has studied American Cavalry tactics extensively. He assures that "I am damn fancy sir. and A big fat pain in the ass." Welcome aboard, buddy! - C
• Mr. Smit - Guy who lost his legs to Apaches and his replaced them with two Winchester rifles. A guy like that has got to be worth something. - C
• The Peacemaker - Prefers to call himself "Death", he's damn good with a Colt .45 Peacemaker, and that's all you need to know. - C
• Herpes Girl - A promiscuous IMDB slut who plans to sleep with everyone in the command. - C
• Keith Richards - Either the one from the Rolling Stones, or someone pretending to be him. He assures me that he cannot be killed, so that's definitely worth something, if true. - C
• Lyle and Tector Gorch - If you aren't familiar with the Gorches from "The Wild Bunch", that's your problem. - B
• Angel - Jaime Sanchez's character from "The Wild Bunch". Apparently he managed to survive that rather brutal throat slashing. - C
• Dante the 1st - Misc. IMDBer. - D
• Dave Jenkins - He assures me he's very good at stabbing people in the back. Keep an eye out for him. - C
• Lorelei Bascomb Jones - A veteran of many Old West gangs, wars, and campaigns. Go here to see her completely history. - B
• Kermit - A legendary member of the Leone board who is coming along, thankfully. He's a living legend who needs not be described; it would be pointless. If we can make your role bigger, we will. - C
• Border Trash - Southern-born Southerner who lives along the border and is spoiling for a good fight. He also appears to be a graduate of the University of Arkansas. - C

Quite a motley crew I've assembled, eh? Fifty in total, it should be a blast.