New Year's Eve Bash

Yes, the command is still in Begonia, but the Major forced his men - despite their hangovers - to prepare to move out after a New Years' celebration.

In order to prepare for it, Groggy sent Sergeant Harriman and six men to raid a local shop-and-save. The mission was a complete success, and they returned with 6 tons of bean dip, 30,000 bags of potato chips, 2,000 bags of barbeque, 5,000 bags of pretzels, 1,000 boxed of pretzel rods, 30 cakes, and a seemingly infinite amount of meats, chicken wings, and cheeses. For Groggy decided to let the townspeople in on the celebrations as well. And, of course, more wine and tequila were in order.

Groggy was so busy preparing the party that he didn't notice the large column of French troops descending on the town. The French colonel, Colonel Barou, had with him the Groupement Mobile 100, a crack armored unit that was of brigade strength. It had several armored vehicles, tanks, and artillery, and prepared to besiege the town. The Colonel was prepared to give his opponent a very special New Years' Eve celebration, for violating France's rule over Indochina . . . er, I mean, Mexico.

But back in the town, business could hardly have been further from the minds of the men, whose blood alcohol level was undoubtedly in the high thousands by now, after two and a half straight weeks of keggers. After nearly a month of drinking, partying, and carousing, many of them seemed to forget that they had a mission - to bring to justice our old friend, the Apache Sierra Charriba.

Ahem. . . I said, our old friend, the Apache Sierra Charriba.



Now, it just so happened that Begonia was a poor, poor town, which had virtually no electricity. With most of their batteries and generators having been destroyed at the river battle, they could no longer play "Dance Dance Revolution" - they couldn't even hold a decent karaoke contest, much to the chagrin of a certain Mr. Richards, who would certainly win now that Michelle was no longer with us. The cards that had been wielded by Mr. Stubb had been lost under a radiator vent during one of the group's regular drinking binges. Tim had, in a fit of drunken rage, destroyed most of the arcade games, so that was out of the question as well.

So, basically, the command could do little beyond eat, dance, and drink - and they'd all had enough of that by now.

Still, Groggy hoped to inspire confidence and morale in his men with some fireworks he had stolen from a crooked arms dealer in New Mexico.

"Hey Major," Joe Starbuck had asked him.

"Yeah, Joe?"

"Why do we need fireworks? We have artillery, don't we?"

"Do you want to waste all of our ammunition partying?"

At this, the two watched as Tim and Peacemaker began emptying their pistols into a big-screen TV. (They were both clearly drunk, of course.) What should've been a sound, airtight point by the Major was now made a bit more complicated.

"Why don't you go hang out with Aimee?" Groggy said disgustedy.

Plasmotic Snake was celebrating in his own way by looking at some meticulously done "Lion King" drawings he had made from gunpowder and his own hair grease. Grenouille was brushing up on his French, in case he needed to use it with the French soldiers.

The Canadians organized a quick pickup game out of hockey with some of the locals. The Mexicans didn't quite get it - and several of them were impaled on the Candains' weapons - but Garfer's Hosers ultimately won the day, 29-0.

Things were going fairly well, then The command had, for the moment anyway, lost all of their differences in a confusing drunken haze, and were able to forget their troubles. They were preparing to ring in 2006 - the year that their quest against that Injun Charriba. And kill some French, too, come to think of it.