Complete Scene - "Knife Fight"

The liberated Mexican village spent the better part of a week celebrating their liberation from the French. For the past six months, they had been forced to eat Brie and indulge in wine taste-testing; anyone caught drinking tequila had been put to death. But now, the French were incapicitated, though Groggy Dundee planned to allow them to escape (for extremely convoluted reasons that would be best left unexplained). As for Teresa? Her body was left in the street for days without anyone noticing; some rumored that she had been carved up into meat and served at the fiesta.

The command forgot their divisions and casualties and partied, drinking and dancing without let up for seven days. The Gorch Brothers broke into the French's private wine cellar with a couple of hookers and had a nice bath in there; the only members of the army were more content with public celebration.

In the mayor's office, a high-stakes poker game went on all night long, as Frisco took on the Mayor, four townspeople, Marco Leone, and Stubb for two hours, playing seven-card stud. Herpes Girl had also been present, but she had been ejected for suggesting that they play strip poker. She was extremely upset, as there were so many women that no one was really paying attention to her.

Out in the courtyard, the drunken Mr. Potts leered after a pretty Mexican woman. She was put off by this geek, and fled into the arms of her paramour, Armando. Potts pursued her, and the offended suitor drew her knife.

"What's the matter with the little cat?" Potts drunkenly demanded. "My arm ain't good enough for her, huh?" He then suddenly drew his knife and slashed at Armando's arm.

"Now your other arm," Potts drawled.

However, a man rushed in between Armando and Potts before he could finish the job. It was Sergeant Cullen. "No, not the boy," he said, pulling out a Bowie knife. "Me. You try me, old man."

Potts looked amused at his adversary. "Was it I called her a - cat? What I meant was, your tramp sister."

Cullen bristled at this. "Now your arm," he said, gesturing at Potts. "Your good one."

At this, Potts leapt at him, and the two had a lengthy knife fight. Potts got Cullen into a headlock, but just grazed the skin of Cullen with his knife before Cullen got the better of him. After this, it was clear that the fight was more for show than a serious combat. After about a minute of such fighting, Dundee stepped into the fight, striking Potts with his pistol.

"What the fuck are you doing, Major?" Potts demanded, still looking at Cullen.

"Mind your own damned business," Cullen said curtly.

Dundee sheepishly ducked out of the fight. Before they could start again, however, Sergeant Harriman jumped in, with a broken beer bottle. "Take me, Potts," she said loudly.

Potts just stared at her for a moment, then burst out laughing. After a moment, so did Cullen, and then Harriman herself. Armando grabbed Potts and Cullen around the shoulders, and Harriman joined them, and the foursome skipped off to somewhere else in town like drunken morons. Dundee looked after them with a perplexed look on his face. What the fuck was that? he asked himself.